All Hail The Overdose Queen/Suicide Prevention

Tiani Angela

Quite the title right? But just thinking about how many times I have done it? I think I can safely say I deserve it. Am I proud? No. Do I regret it? No.


TRIGGER WARNING!!!

Hey guys! Today I come to you with a pretty deep blog post so if you are easily triggered this may not be for you.

If you have read any of my previous blog posts (which you should-be!) then you probably already know that I was hospitalized last year for attempted suicide. I should’ve been hospitalized 4 times before that.

My choice of suicide was always pills. I figured it would be painless and easy-going because it would knock me right out. Of course, I was wrong. It was the exact opposite. It was painful and so hard but I still always relied on the pills. Now I would literally reach for any pill in…

View original post 491 more words

Non-Profit Charity

I have recently started a non-profit charity for people who are affected by cancer daily. TBD Charity (Treat Beat Defeat) will donate $100.00 to a hospital every time a $100.00 is raised. It will be a different hospital each time!

Reasons why I’m doing this: my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was 9 years old. She is a SURVIVOR, she is my HERO and my ROLE MODEL. I am thankful to have her in my life every single day. When someone you know has cancer, it doesn’t just affect them, it affects everyone around them. Cancer is just a word.. let’s TREAT, BEAT, and DEFEAT cancer!

Instagram: YES, we have an Instagram page, please follow. Instagram.com/treat.beat.defeat – you will be able to keep up with any recent updates!

Also, we have a Facebook page: Treat Beat Defeat!

If you have any questions, feel free to email me at treatbeatdefeat@yahoo.com

GoFundMe: If you would like to donate to this charity, https://www.gofundme.com/treat-beat-defeat-charity

Thank you all very much!

17760190_1846346348915689_7137989206004050458_n

Letter While You Are Gone

5/7/17

My one and only,

You have grown to be my best friend. You are my rock when everything goes wrong. You are my shoulder to lean on. You are my motivator. You are my biggest supporter who always encourages me to become a better woman. You are the person I want to grow old with. Most importantly, you are my soul mate that I fell in love with. I fell in love with you inside and out. I love the way your hair smells and how it always sits so perfectly; I love when you smile and your dimples show; your eyes in the light are so peaceful; I love how manly you look with facial hair or how mature you look without it; the way you smile at me like I’m the only person you see; the way your lips feel against mine; how gentle you are when you kiss me; the way your muscles feel when I touch them; when you hold me so tight like you never want to let me go; how muscular you feel; how stupid you act with me; your voice; the way you protect me; how you act silly with me and I don’t even have to ask you to do so; the feeling I get when you touch me softly; how crazy you make me when you just look me in my eyes; the way you breathe; how you make me feel like the most beautiful girl in the universe. I tell you I love you all of the time because not only do you deserve to hear it, but I mean it from the bottom of my heart. I don’t know if, “I love you” (those three little words) can truly explain the impact you have made on my life. I never knew someone could love me as much as you do. You show me love, determination, commitment, and most importantly, trust. I have never trusted somebody like I trust you.

On February 23, 2017 we started the beginning of the rest of our loves together. I will always remember that exact night when you asked me out with a bottle of wine just sitting there, talking. I didn’t even give you an answer at first because I was in such complete shock, I was not expecting it (even though I have been waiting for so long! Haha). From that day, you become the best thing in my life. You are the best thing that could have ever happened to me. You changed my life and I do not think you even realize how much you did. I wish I could somehow show you that. You are truly a blessing.

Thank you absolutely everything you have done for me and will do for me. Thank you loving me; presenting me to your family; showing me what love is; caring for me; always having my back; putting up with my jealous self; loving me unconditionally; being crazy with me; showing me how important I could be to someone; putting me first; loving me for who I am. Thank you for being yourself because that is who I fell in love with.

I love to think about the future and imagine nothing but the two of us together. My future would not be perfect unless you are by my side. Regardless of our ups and downs, just know, I am never leaving your side. I am never going to give up on you. I see you marrying me, becoming my husband, buying a house with me, having my children and spending the rest of our lives together. One day we are going to have absolutely everything we ever dreamed of and everything we always planned to have because together, we are going to do it all together. If we have each other, there is nothing we cannot accomplish. WE are going to be successful. It is you and I against this world baby, forever and always, no matter what. With one simple look at you, I see a flash of our future together and there’s nothing more I could want.

Every time you read this letter, just know that it will be one day closer to the day you come back to the USA and finally see me again. I love you. You are the love of my life, I cannot wait until I see you. It does not matter how many miles away we are from each other, I still love you and adore you the exact same way. I already miss you so much. I miss you every single time we are not together.

There’s nothing I love more than waking up next to your side. I love falling asleep next to you, telling you I love you, then rolling over and sleeping in your arms. Then waking up in the middle of the night to kiss you or pull you closer. I cannot wait until we move out some day and I never have to say “I wish you were here next to me.” My mornings are so much better when they involve waking up next to the love of my life.

I may not be perfect, I may not be rich, I may not be the most beautiful girl in the world; I may not have it all (but I have it all with you), but what I do have is a big heart for you. Eyes for you and only you, my dear. The love I have for you is unexplainable. This simple little letter will never be able to explain my feelings for you.

Every day my love grows more and more for you. I adore you and everything you do. I am so proud of you and I do not think you hear that quite often, but you need to. You work your butt off and it may go unnoticed with everyone else, but not with me. I notice everything you do and I know it’s not only to better yourself, but it’s to better US. Like you said, “it’s not me, it’s US now.”

I promise to love you through the good times and the bad times; through all the stupid little arguments. I promise you that we will someday be exactly where we plan to be. I promise to stick by your side no matter what obstacles life throws at us. I promise to be by your side when times get rough. I promise that I will do whatever it takes to always make you happy and give you what you deserve and need. I promise to never give up on us.

I love you more than you can imagine. I love you with all of my heart. I love you more than anyone could ever love you.

I will see you soon, my handsome man.

IMG_5788